Allowance

Maybe now’s not a good time, but I need something to occupy my mind. My head’s like - /|\|/|\ - does that make any sense? So much seems to be happening, and I’m torn between playing a role that doesn’t seem right and not playing a role at all. There’s a certain sense of impending doom that is having a hard time clicking with all of this hope and potential; there’s that proverbial question: why?; there’s the constant struggle to maintain faith that this all does make sense somehow, always forgetting and reminding and remembering that there is something more and forever tormented by not really knowing what it is – sometimes fooling myself into thinking I have a clue, more as a past time than anything else. Some things can be easy to recognize yet damn near impossible to come to terms with. It feels like time is running short; I’m sure there’s always been someone saying that, “Time is running short;” it’s been that way forever and will be forever until we decide it’s been enough. When will it be enough?